Linkin Park - Easier to Run

It's easier to run

Replacing this pain with something numb

It's so much easier to go

Than face all this pain here all alone

Something has been taken from deep inside of me

The secret I've kept locked away no one can ever see

Wounds so deep they never show they never go away

Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played

(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)

(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)

(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)

(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)

(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)

(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)

(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)

(I would take all my shame to the grave)

[Chorus]

It's easier to run

Replacing this pain with something numb

It's so much easier to go

Than face all this pain here all alone

Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past

Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have

Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back

And never moving forward so there'd never be a past

(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)

(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)

(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)

(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)

(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)

(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)

(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)

(I would take all my shame to the grave)

Just washing it aside

All of the helplessness inside

Pretending I don't feel misplaced

It's so much simpler than change

[Chorus]

It's easier to run

Replacing this pain with something numb

It's so much easier to go

Than face all this pain here all alone

It's easier to run

(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)

(Retrace every wrong move that I made)

It's easier to go

(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)

(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)

(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)

(I would take all my shame to the grave)

1 Big Project, 1 Major Deadline...

I think if i had 1 wish right now, I'd wish that i could wear the shoes of someone else and observe a world of difference, the real world. The point is, nobody knows how different your world is compared to them. Everything you hear, feel, see, smell and touch is different from your buddies. If someone were to step into my shoes...

There I am, a miniature and standing before me are 3 giants. Beyond all that... is a new life. A feeling not comparable with anything else in this forsaken world. Is this possible? I dont know. Escaping would be the hardest thing to do as the reward is so close but yet even further from me than I thought. I will take my chances, I just remembered, Im not a quitter!

Now that you've sort of stepped into my shoes, do you get it? No right? dont worry, you're not supposed to. haha... as I mentioned above, nobody knows what you're thinking or going through. But if you do understand.. you're just as weird as I am =)

Sweet dreams and good bye

"No...", stunned by her reply his heart stood still, skipping a few beats occasionally. "B-but... wwhy, hhow come?" he asked while grasping for air. The firm breeze lurked by instantly, her long brown hair suaved gracefully strand by strand, his tears dried before they could even escape the bottom eyelid. "Because... well... you're a great guy but I just cant see myself with you". She was so confident with her words, there was no way I could ever change her mind a single bit he thought. "Look, we could still be great friends right?" as she attempted to comfort. "Right..." it was that sort of constipated face he showed which he actually found the words hard to swallow. It was a sign of defeat and he knew it. Life goes on for sure, but he knew the reason for the rejection. Whatever, he said softly, like a man would say to another man, "may the best man win" except this time it wasnt him. "Beautiful isnt it?" she gazed at the night sky. Marvellous if only... he thought in his mind. "Yeah beautiful...very... nice". The wind stopped.

Nothing but memories streamed through his head from the moment he was seized by her beauty to all the late night conversations, future plans and promises, it could go on forever. But he remembered fondly being with her at the beach a day before, sitting together on the silky smooth sands he noticed a smile on her face. She said she felt a sense of freedom, freedom from getting away from it all that is. He was just enjoying the view of clear blue waters when asked in return. He looked at her turning away. Truth is, he felt at the top of the world even doing something as simple as sitting beside her. Beautiful isnt it? Heyyy anybody there? she was smiling. Oh! yeah yeah! looking foolish as though he just recovered from shock. You are so dreamy at times she said while laughing. Is it wrong to be mesmerized by you, he thought as he smiled back. The memories hit him hard. He found himself losing consciousness, the sight of her dimmed and soon everything around him turned white.

His heart warmed with the feeling of soft skin encasing him. Lying in her arms, he noticed a sea of clouds beneath in which they were on. What's going on? where are we? he asked never being so confused in his life. Hush.. her soft spoken voice sounded, I will never leave you, you are safe with me here... The comforting words, so confident, so genuine, so righteous. You promise? There was no reply. Before he could call her name, his world was sucked into a black hole. Now eyes were wide open, he noticed a bird by the window, it stared for a moment before departing. If only I was as free to release my wings and fly away like the bird he thought sitting on his bed.

I never realized semester holidays were actually so short!

Guess who's back?! Yeah you guessed right, who else? So im back from sabah for holidays, 1 step out of the plane and woah you could tell the difference between kl and there. Well what can i say, it was a familiar smell, the smell of home! Was very happy to be back, and slightly upset thinking back at the days in sabah, watching the sunset on the second last day in particular. Whatever it is, i had fun. From the mountain peak of South East Asia, to the tip of Borneo, to some gigantic river in the mountains, to the liquor and beer in a friends house, it was purely great. The ONLY thing i wasnt happy about upon arriving back at home is that i lost a kg. WTF is this! All that hard work over a few months got me demotivated and the feeling of accomplishing nothing aka back to square 1. Not to say i was freaking buffed before the trip but i noticed upon taking off me shirt on the beach which was the second last day and oh my goodness, why are my ribs so prominent? i never gave it much of a thought but when i weighed myself back at home, 1 kg down. oh well i guess im starting all over again...

Oh, that BIG smile on my face?

For the first time, im not by my backyard expressing my thoughts... Making this a contradictory post as i am thinking with dudes sitting next to me, minding their own business on a sat night/sun morning in a CC. I have a load of things on my mind to convert into text that'll last forever. Problem is whether i can recall everything from weeks and weeks ago...

Lets begin with an interesting, short and yet very meaningful lecture by my bro. Everything quoted here aren't my thoughts, so ill try my best to recall accurately what he said.

They say that you're more creative when you're young, you wont think twice or trice before deciding to do something or rather, anything (at least the only thing i ever thought of is whether my parent would beat me up as a consequence.... nah who cares). Then when you grow up, your knowledge develops and you think and think and think and think before doing something so simple for example, eating a bar of choc before going to bed. So why does this dramatic change occur? No, its not puberty... Its education. The thing is, education or education in malaysia, stresses students to think in a single file and only in a single file. If not then in two ways only. This loss of brain stimulation indeed takes its toll on producing youthful and lively minds. Which brings me to the next point, as most people who are so called matured at the age of 18 think this, "We stop playing when we grow older". But for the rest of us who are still young at heart, "We grow older when we stop playing!!!"

Moving on to relationships...

You see... the world is changing. I sense the evidence in this, because coming across many female friends and personal observations, the roles of females and males are evolving. In this sense, evolving simply refers to the change of duties in which traditional females and males carried out. For example, girls dont do much cooking anymore, rather, they would want a guy who can cook for them in the future. My mom and im sure most moms tell their son(s) that they're going to have a hard time in the future with an ever demanding girlfriend or wife. So i replied, "society is changing, if guys cant adapt, give in to the changes and work on a compromise basis, then may the best man win". Feel free to disagree with me on this. Because im on the side of being more sensitive to these changes.

And on other stuffs...

I've been wanting to shake off something that has been constantly disturbing me since about a couple of weeks ago. Ever felt a feeling so genuine, so real, but know that the result will only turn out to be an illusion? What is this feeling? I don't want to admit knowing and wished it never occured. Is it normal for something like this to happen? because for certain reasons, i wouldn't want history to repeat itself. But if history has a chance to repeat itself, why not make it as righteous as possible? That kept me hanging on the line, only trouble is, well, its an illusion and will probably never come true.

And more stuffs...

nah.. its late, better head home and hit the sack. Until next time, cheers!